Love after Lehigh: Going to college for a career, finding a spouse

Romance often starts and ends on college campuses. Being in close proximity to one’s significant other and having an abundance of opportunities to meet new people can either lead to a budding relationship or hinder a pre-existing one.

Despite the difficulties that can come with dating while in college, alumni couples prove the undergraduate years are perhaps one of the greatest times to meet one’s future spouse.

Julia Westbrook, ‘12, met her husband Josh Westbrook, ‘12, their first year at Lehigh while participating in band camp for the Marching 97.

“That first year we were definitely good friends — a lot of us in the band were close friends,” Julia Westbrook said. “And then it wasn’t until sophomore year that we just kind of clicked, which also coincidentally happened at band camp again. We were very strongly tied to the band.”

The couple started dating in their sophomore year and eventually got married in 2014. To the surprise of their guests, the Marching 97 performed at their wedding.

“(Lehigh) was a good place to get to know one another and see what each other was like under stress,” Julia Westbrook said. “When you’re in an environment where you can be together 24/7 — you can eat together, study together — you get to see a lot of sides to the other person.”

Julia Westbrook noted their relationship had a rather smooth transition from Lehigh to life after graduation, due to the fact that Josh Westbrook had a job nearby while she finished her final year of school as a presidential scholar.

“I think the reason so many people break up when they graduate is that the relationship isn’t working to begin with,” Julia Westbrook said. “Graduation is an easy exit.”

She explained their relationship was strong and both she and Josh ensured they put themselves in a position to stay together.

“We easily could have looked for jobs in New York City, or I could have not taken the fifth year and looked for jobs elsewhere, so we chose not to take that exit ramp,” Julia Westbrook said.

Heather Simoneau, ‘90, and her husband Scott Simoneau, ‘88, also met while at Lehigh and eased their transition to the real world by staying local. They met through a mutual friend who was a Gryphon.

To save up money to buy a house, Scott Simoneau lived on Birkel Avenue while Heather Simoneau finished up her last two years at Lehigh. Scott Simoneau noted he made a conscious effort to look for jobs that were not too far away.

“The biggest transition was understanding that he had regular hours, whereas I could be up all night and sleep in the next morning,” Heather Simoneau said.

The Simoneaus explained the romantic atmosphere when they were on campus was entirely different from Lehigh’s present hook-up culture.

“It wasn’t like that back then,” Heather Simoneau said. “In senior year there was a rash of engagements and a lot of pinnings. It was a lot more common to actually date someone on campus.”

Dave Cousineau, ‘92, and Dora Cousineau, ‘92, married six years after graduating from Lehigh. They met each other as first year students in band camp but did not start dating until the last day of classes their senior year.

“Because we were friends for so long, it kind of created our relationship,” Dave Cousineau said. “We certainly would not have had that friendship without all of the activities we were involved with on campus.”

Their shared social circle and ability to date other people for most of their college years is what helped to make their relationship work.

“You’ll hear of some couples who get married right after college, and they regret they never had single days,” Dora Cousineau said. “Similar to this, it’s not that we didn’t have the college experience, because we did. We could see other people and do what we wanted.”

The hardest part of their transition from Lehigh was the fact the two lived an hour away from each other.

“When you’re in college, you’re right there living with all of your friends,” Dora Cousineau said. “You’re essentially two feet away, or at worst a five minute walk.”

Yet with additional effort and planning, the Cousineaus, along with other alumni couples, made their relationships work after leaving campus, and they view Lehigh as the link that brought them together.

Karen Shuler and her husband, who met while attending Lehigh, have been married for over 25 years and share the common bond of Lehigh’s chemical engineering program.

“We both did the co-op option and went to summer school after our sophomore year, which is where we met,” Shuler wrote in an email. “I didn’t pay much attention to him during summer school.  But when the fall semester started we found ourselves in an elective industrial engineering class together.”

The two later became lab partners and started doing homework together. They got married two weeks after graduation and later moved to Texas.

The couple shared many common bonds that helped their relationship flourish.

“We talked about religion, how many kids we would have, politics, just everything, and we were on the same page on all of it,” Shuler said.

Heather Simoneau said Lehigh has been a common bond throughout her relationship with her husband.

“Having that shared experience is a large part of relationships, like you can talk about ‘the Hill’ and the other person knows what you mean,” she said.

Heather Simoneau said she believes Lehigh students can negate the hook-up culture and find someone they truly belong with.

“L is Lehigh, and L is for love,” she said. “Give love a chance.”