Telling people at Lehigh that I went to an all-girls high school is often met with either a quizzical expression or a sympathetic look, or a combination of the two. Next, come the questions: Why? Did your parents force you? How did you even meet boys?
And while I would’ve indulged in these inquiries and milked the commiseration of those around me had I been asked these questions while still enrolled in my all girls, Catholic academy, I have since grown extremely grateful for my experience of attending a single-sex institution.
There are many aspects of my high school that I dislike to this day and cannot disregard, such as its lack of diversity, its sometimes stuffy and ultra-conservative doctrines and its drilling of religion (I am not Catholic nor religious). But as time passes and my memories of walking its halls seem more and more distant, both the good times and bad ones spent at the school now garner more of my appreciation than my high school self would have liked to admit.
In my classes, I raised my hand to participate almost as often as my mother would raise her eyebrows at the sight of the dirty polo and unwashed kilt that I peeled off each night and re-wore each morning.
My peers and I were unapologetically assertive. We answered questions in class with confidence and without fear of ridicule, held healthy debates and dug deep into the topics we were learning each day. Competition among us was reserved for academics and achievement, not around boys or our appearance.
There was no embarrassment, at least in regards to the physical. If one of your friends across the room needed a tampon, there was no shame in retrieving one from your bag and launching it through the air for her to catch. In the winters, we would joke about who had neglected to shave their leg hair the longest.
Much to the disdain of the nuns, we would sprawl in the hallways, sitting with our legs spread apart in an unlady-like manner, playing games before class or catching some Z’s after a late night of “studying” with friends. Going for seconds in the lunch line was something your friends would acknowledge with a high-five rather than a dirty look.
We were also taught to be passionate. Along with our studies, my peers and I poured ourselves into our extracurriculars, often staying hours after school had let out to practice or play or rehearse.
My fall months were spent hurrying from my last class to the track for cross country practice, then, after reapplying my deodorant and ordering Panera, racing to the musical rehearsal where I spent late nights as a member of the stage crew. As much as I hated it, I loved it just the same.
Though there were obvious friend groups within it, my class of 80 girls were all close. Everyone knew each other, and not just each other’s names. We knew each other’s personalities, likes and dislikes, hobbies and aspirations.
By graduation, I had memorable moments with each individual girl in my class, as did my friends. As with any close-knit group, there were blips of drama throughout the four years, but nothing that stuck. We were a class of sisters through and through.
Everything was cause for celebration. Got into your top college? You would be attacked with texts and congratulatory Instagram stories. Aced an exam? Your friends would smack you on the back and tell you “good job”. Seventeenth birthday? Your locker would be stuffed with confetti and littered with signs made of lined notebook paper. Don’t even get me started on my friends’ reactions to hearing I had passed my drivers test.
This supportive environment, fostered mostly by my fellow classmates rather than the institution itself, helped me far beyond just receiving a high school diploma and getting accepted into the colleges I wanted. Today, I walk around with a level of confidence and assurance that I do not believe I would have cultivated if not for the all-girls community I was surrounded by during my time in high school.
No, there wasn’t some big culture shock being in class with boys. Yes, I do miss having my outfit predetermined every morning. No, I don’t miss having to sit through mass at 8:15 a.m. on a Tuesday. And yes, I am grateful for my status as an all-girls school survivor.
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3 Comments
Just think that back in your grandparents day that same experience would have continued through college. You might have gone to Cedar Crest or Centenary & met a Lehigh guy at it’s all male campus with 31 fraternities throwing parties with half having live bands every Saturday night.
Sayre Park closed its gates to cars and the hill was alive with people wandering looking for the best band at the best frat. We all survived & enjoyed it very much & met girls to marry somehow in the process or after graduation. In my case 48 years with the same girl!!
Those were the days of the Lehigh Engineers when Lehigh ranked 20 places higher in academic standing in US News rankings before it threw away its grand to become a high schooling bird nickname. Lehigh men were captains of industry back then running many of the largest companies in America.
Glad you have your fond memories without regrets.
Thank you for your taking the time to read my edit desk and for your comment. Though you did not state it explicitly, I am going to have to disagree with your opinion that Lehigh was better off without women. I am very thankful for my all-girls education, and even more thankful for my time thus far at my co-ed university, receiving the same opportunities as my male peers. I did not attend college to meet a man to marry, nor would I prefer to live in the time of my grandparents where opinions adjacent to glorifying live bands over equal opportunity were more prevalent.
I do not disagree that single-sex higher education does have its benefits, however, I am thankful that I live in a time where female students have the choice to attend whatever institution they please–and are not barred from certain universities because of their genitalia.
I did not say Ella that y Lehigh was better off without women but merely pointing out that what you experienced in high school was prevalent thru college at that time.
What I did say is that Lehigh lost its reputation because it abandoned its “brand” in the mid ‘90’s which was unrelated to admitting women 20 years prior to that.