Confronting toxic masculinity: The male-identifying lens of Break the Silence

Gender-based violence is not limited to any specific gender — people of any identity can experience or inflict it. However, education surrounding gender-based violence on Lehigh’s campus, most often facilitated by the Break the Silence organization, has been largely attended and run by women.

Break the Silence is a peer education organization committed to ending gender-based violence and encouraging healthy sexuality exploration and practices. Caden DellaPenta, ‘27, and Blair, ‘25, are currently the only two male-identifying members of the organization. 

DellaPenta and Blair make up less than 5% of the organization’s 42-person membership. Together, they are seeking to help change the face of the movement on campus, which has been predominantly led by female-identifying students. 

Both DellaPenta and Blair are in their first year of being peer educators and said they have had a wonderful experience in Break the Silence thus far. 

DellaPenta said he joined the organization following their presentation at his first-year orientation. He was inspired to take part because he wanted to fill gaps in sex education for himself and others.

“It’s a great way to start confronting your toxically-masculine traits and your notions of what sex is,” DellaPenta said.

Blair said he joined Break the Silence after recognizing the organization’s underrepresented male population and the need for connection with its male audience.

Blair acknowledged that male audiences may feel hesitant about topics covered in Break the Silence presentations. He saw joining as an opportunity to help this disconnect.

“I don’t think there is enough male representation … just for the purpose of helping more men to be receptive to the concept of gender violence,” Blair said.

Constance Mulligan, ‘26, is also a member of Break the Silence. She recognizes the importance of having these two male-identifying members in the organization. 

“We really need to know every perspective on campus, and we can’t really do that if we have no male-identifying people,” Mulligan said.

When Blair began the training process to become a peer educator, he understood there were many other people joining who also felt unsure about their sex education level, regardless of their gender identity. He said in recognizing this, he felt more comfortable among his peers, and he never felt isolated by being one of the only male-identifying people in conversations about gender violence.

DellaPenta felt similarly, recognizing that his male identity was not the only underrepresented voice in a typical sex education setting. 

“A lot of people in Break the Silence are queer,” DellaPenta said. “I feel very comfortable around them because they understand what it’s like to feel underrepresented in a sex ed setting.” 

When joining Break the Silence, both DellaPenta and Blaire said they felt welcomed, heard and respected, since the organization fosters a culture of inclusivity. 

“Break the Silence would not be the same without them,” Mulligan said.

Blair and DellaPenta are co-chairing an event in April called “These Hands Don’t Hurt.” The event will take place on April 11 from 11:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., and will be a campaign for men to take an oath against sexual assault and gender violence. They will also be making pamphlets on the basics of consent, as they feel understanding consent is something easier said than done. 

“If people don’t have a full understanding of what consent and male privilege is, then these (events) are not very constructive,” DellaPenta said.

DellaPenta said he acknowledges that our world has governmental and societal structures that contribute to men having inherent power over women, and he emphasized the importance of understanding how these systems of power are upheld and how we can deconstruct them. 

DellaPenta and Blair are both using their unique lens to strengthen their voices and impact on the entirety of Lehigh’s community.

“(Break the Silence) is an environment where you are seen, you are heard, you get to represent yourself equally and learn and educate about ideas regardless of gender identity,” Blair said.

Blair, DellaPenta and Mulligan hope for more male-identifying people to join Break the Silence in the future to help contribute to further positive change on Lehigh’s campus, as broadened perspectives add to the impact Break the Silence creates.