“In a world full of darkness, be the light.”
While I love this sentiment and appreciate people who can genuinely embody it, I also hate thinking this is the “right” way to live because it doesn’t work for everyone.
It definitely doesn’t work for me.
This isn’t to say I’m a negative person or I don’t want to brighten people’s days. It’s just to say I’m not bubbly and happy and chipper all the time.
And I think that’s okay.
If you’re anything like me, don’t fake it. Own it.
In a (potentially misguided) attempt to cement my perspective and alter yours, I want to acknowledge the complicated nature of personality.
I consider myself a realist, but I know some see this as pessimism. I consider myself a kindhearted person and a loyal friend, but I know I’m not the easiest person to get close to. I consider myself a self-starter and an independent person, but I know some people misconstrue this as selfishness. I consider myself courageous and unafraid of difficult conversations, but to some, I’m loud or outspoken.
As I conclude my first semester of my final year in college, I’ve come to appreciate these varying facets of myself.
I’ve also come to cherish these elements within the diverse relationships I’ve formed and the complexity of the personalities of everyone in my life. I’ve been lucky to bond with people I met throughout my childhood, during first-year orientation, in classes, on The Brown and White, in my sorority and beyond.
And each and every one of them holds a distinctive place in my life.
As we connect over shared experiences — good and bad — and similar interests, including books, movies, food, hobbies, activities and passions, the relationships in my life are complex and ever-changing.
There are the people I go to when I need a pick-me-up, the ones I seek guidance from, the ones who never fail to make me laugh, the ones I know will tell me the truth (even if I might not want to hear it) and the ones I love nothing more than enjoying a comfortable silence with.
These relationships have helped to shape me into the multifaceted person I am today by allowing me to give them exactly what they give me: genuineness.
Do I make people laugh? Pretty often, yes. Do I also intimidate people? Probably just as often. Do my friends come to me for advice? All the time. Do they also come to me when someone needs a reality check? Absolutely.
Any relationship I’ve ever held — whether it be with a friend, significant other, mentor, peer, family member or someone else — has only lasted if we’re real with each other. Those who truly know me understand the aforementioned aspects of my so-called “strong personality,” and I give whatever pieces make them who they are the same high level of respect.
I’m indebted to the people who mirror my values just as much as I am to those who challenge them. Both teach me the importance of adaptability and perspective. Personalities are nuanced, and sometimes the most authentic way to show up in the world is by accepting all parts of ourselves without feeling pressure to fit a single ideal.
And as conversations surrounding my impending job hunt and decisions for the future ramp up, I hope to use who I am to my advantage.
Unfortunately a lot of what makes me, me can’t be specified on a job application.
Even though I can’t check off a box that says “I love collaborating with others,” “I value constructive criticism,” or, even more bluntly, “If you hire me, I promise to get shit done,” I hope to convey these aspects of myself through other application materials and face-to-face interviews.
I’m confident that the right opportunity will recognize the value in my approach, even if it’s not easily categorized. I often echo this to friends of mine, acknowledging that there’s no neat way to package yourself for a job or anything else.
And to anyone else reading this, I want to further emphasize that and the immense value I’ve found in appreciating the good and the bad in myself and others.
Honestly, I’m okay with the fact my personality is not all bright and peppy. I think the world would be a bit boring if everyone was.
I’m grateful to surround myself with individuals who exemplify these characteristics wholeheartedly, as well as those who don’t.
I think, in a world full of darkness, we should all let our eyes adjust and just be ourselves.
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