“Men used to go to war,” reads the text over a video of a group of young men drinking matcha and taking “candid” photos for Instagram.
Last fall, the “performative male” became a viral TikTok caricature of a progressive man: a specific brand of matcha-drinking, Clairo-listening, baggy-pants-wearing man who mostly exists online.
The trend began as a critique of men in leftist spaces whose politics don’t extend to the women they date. Then it evolved into criticism of men who use fashion and media to signal progressive views for attention. Eventually, it became just another way to reinforce gender roles.
Performative male competitions held in cities from Seattle to Toronto featured men wearing “women are the future” T-shirts, carrying copies of “Becoming” by Michelle Obama or holding Fiona Apple vinyl records. Behind highlighting a cultural craving for community spaces, these competitions also showed that society still struggles to accept men who embrace traditionally “feminine” interests — even after Harry Styles wore a dress for Vogue.
It’s easy and fair to critique the trend for failing to recognize that gender itself is performative, or for punishing men who express sincerity. At the same time, many critics argue that pushing these men away risks driving them toward the political right. However, they forget that sometimes men are creeps.
There’s already a narrative of growing gender war. Jia Tolentino noted in The New Yorker that the 2024 election reflected this split. President Donald Trump appeared on “red pill” podcasts, befriended Elon Musk and attended UFC events to appeal to young men. Meanwhile, former Vice President Kamala Harris appeared on “Call Her Daddy,” a podcast focused on dating and relationships.
This divide reflects a broader media gap, where men and women are often exposed to entirely different conversations. So, on some level, it makes sense to be careful not to push men further rightward.
After Trump’s election victory, it was easy to feel that feminists had not only lost ground but were facing a deeper cultural setback. The rollback of reproductive rights in several states, along with the rise of pronatalism rhetoric, signaled more than political disagreement. It highlighted real risks. Comments from figures like Vice President JD Vance, who criticized “childless cat ladies,” reinforced a dismissive attitude toward women’s autonomy.
Meanwhile, reports have documented women being denied or delayed critical reproductive care.
Some coverage, including reporting from The Washington Post, has suggested that performative men may be preferable to those drawn to right-wing figures like Vance, Andrew Tate or other influencers across the manosphere spectrum. The implication is that women should be more accepting of these men to prevent a broader shift to the right.
But carrying a tote bag and reading bell hooks doesn’t make someone immune from criticism. Progressive women aren’t obligated to accept behavior because “at least he’s trying.”
There’s a complicated history of men in revolutionary or progressive movements also being creeps. Often, liberation, in the eyes of men with power, doesn’t extend to the women around them. On March 18, it was reported that Cesar Chavez, a labor rights activist and founder of the United Farm Workers, had a history of abusing young girls. Similarly, many Black women who were a part of the Black Panther Party have spoken about experiencing gender-based violence at the hands of men in leadership positions within the organization.
Women, especially progressive or leftist women, know not to feel safe when confronted with a MAGA hat-wearing, lifted truck-driving, out and proud Republican man.
However, when a man that you trust turns out to be a misogynistic weirdo, there’s a proximity that heightens the danger and creates nuance when trying to process and understand it.
They’ll want to pressure you into sex, but they’ll coat t it in the language of sexual liberation. They want to call you a bitch, but instead will bash you for your “imperfect” politics. When you end things, they’ll therapy-speak their way into calling you an abuser.
These are patterns of behavior that a Velvet Underground t-shirt and concerningly strong opinions about Sabrina Carpenter’s Man’s Best Friend album cover can’t hide. There’s a reason a TikTok trend calling out performative men initially targeted this archetype.
News organizations turned this trend into an excuse to blame women for the rightward drift of American men, in the same way fixing the environmental crisis is often framed as “women’s work.” It’s not the responsibility of women to “mommy” leftist men into practicing what they preach.
For many of these men, leftist politics is just another way to feel intellectually superior. They’re not coming to progressive politics out of empathy. Instead, like the jeans they wear, the bands they like and the movie posters on their wall, it’s all skin-deep.
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