Editorial: Don’t run from dinner table politics

Spring break is less than a week away, and those of us who aren’t traveling to explore the old-world wonders of the Italian countryside or the new-world horrors of Fort Lauderdale are gearing up for the family sit-down dinners full of election-year politics and conversational landmines.

Dreaded dinner-table politics at home have become a rite of passage for most college students in America. 

Some of us choose to opt out of divisive political conversations with our families because of the animosity they can create, the long-winded rambles we’ll inevitably receive or just plain apathy toward our parents’ political opinions.

But as easy as it is to avoid those difficult conversations at all costs, we believe the facilitation of healthy political discourse can provide families with a greater understanding of one another and build useful strategies to handle other kinds of difficult conversations.

It’s easy to let political chats with family devolve into personal attacks and screaming matches, but there are ways to put ourselves in the best position to come away from these conversations feeling heard.

As a student publication at Northeastern university, our left-leaning tendencies are probably no secret. Still, the goal we are trying to achieve has no political agenda and is not meant to favor liberal ideas. We are suggesting that political discourse among family members can yield positive results when done civilly.  

We also recognize that all family dynamics are different and there are students at Lehigh who cannot dispute their parents’ politics without threat of financial, emotional or physical repercussions. 

These suggestions won’t fit every family. However, that doesn’t mean general conversational guidelines can’t be useful for a lot of people. 

The most fundamental change we need to make is to the end goal of discourse. If we are going into these conversations looking to change our parents’ minds or logic them into submission, we will continuously be disappointed.

Parents have usually held their political beliefs for quite some time; you can’t expect one conversation to change their minds. So you shouldn’t be focused on persuading them to shed their principles in favor of yours. 

Look at these conversations as opportunities to understand the reasoning and logic behind their opinions, and take pride in the little victories. Chances are there is some common ground, or at the very least an exchange of ideas that you hadn’t yet considered. 

These conversations can become very delicate when someone’s political stance has become an ingrained part of their personal identity. But we can look at that reality as an opportunity to connect with our parents on a more meaningful level.

That’s not to say that we will always be able to relate to our parents’ identities and how they shape their views. But in trying to understand how their backgrounds shape their political ideals, we are given the opportunity to learn more about who our parents are and challenge ourselves to learn more about all the personal factors that work together to create their political outlook, as well as our own.  

Another common pitfall of political exchanges with family is coming off as condescending. 

As college students, we have access to educational resources that our parents don’t. We spend our days in state-of-the-art buildings, learning from experts in their respective fields alongside students from all over the world, but our perspective does not make our politics inherently better than those without similar resources.

Because we are privileged to have these resources, it’s easy for that privilege to be perceived as arrogance. The responsibility falls on us to be more aware of our tone and word choice in these conversations and to come into these conversations with open minds. 

There is, however, a line to be drawn between ignorance and stubbornness.

 Open-mindedness and a willingness to share and listen, puts you in the best position to have a civil discussion. But all you can provide is your point of view and the expertise that you possess. If they don’t extend to you the same open-mindedness and respect, then the conversation is not worth the effort. 

There’s only so much we can do to foster safe environments for discussion. 

Realistically, there are exceptions to every suggestion that we have posed. But we stand by the fact that attempting to have civil political discussions with your parents can yield a greater mutual understanding and practice in having hard conversations that we are missing out on when we choose to ignore our differences of opinion.