Cultural crossroads: ‘Airport Day’

On a stormy evening in May 2004, my parents, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins from all over the world gathered at my parents’ house and piled into limousines to meet the newest member of the family at Newark Liberty International Airport. 

This wasn’t new though. My parents already had everything mapped out, as they went through the same process two years prior when my brother was adopted.

They waited to see my chaperone step out into the terminal with me in his arms. Since I was an infant, I didn’t have much luggage and  was tired after the 14 hour plane ride from Seoul to Newark.

As my family got acquainted with me, I was asleep, making it an easy transition from the airport to the limousines to go to my forever home.

There are many names for this day in an adoptee’s life — “Adoption Day,” “Gotcha Day,” “Homecoming Day” and “Family Day,” to name a few — but in my family, it’s always been “Airport Day.”

Not all adoptions require a flight, which is why I think the term we use isn’t as common as others. But no matter the specific name, the day you adopt someone is the day you’re adding them into your family. 

As I got older, I heard other adoptees — people I knew or those who posted videos online — speak about how  they didn’t like celebrating their “Gotcha Day” or even calling it that. This baffled me at first, but as I looked more into it, I began to understand better. 

There’s a lot of controversy surrounding one’s “Gotcha Day,” whether it be the name it’s called or something deeper. 

Some say the phrase “Gotcha Day” can make an adoption feel more like the parents are “buying” a child, which objectifies the adoptee. Others equate this term to the adoption day of a family pet. 

Another reason “Gotcha Day” is controversial is because it can mark the day an adoptee loses connection to their roots and culture. Whether this occurs or not often depends on how old the adoptee is and how much information they have about their origins. 

When a child is adopted, they’re brought into a new family and introduced to a new lifestyle. And not all families incorporate the child’s original culture into their own lives.

There are also plenty of examples of an adoptee being put up for adoption in their home country due to human trafficking.

For one, a September 2024 NPR article discusses girls being put up for adoption in China because of the one child policy. 

The one child policy in China hasn’t been in effectsince 2015, but when it did exist, it meant males were valued higher than females in China.  If a family had a female baby first, they’d often put the child up for adoption and try again for a male baby. 

Another reason why this day isn’t always celebrated is because, unfortunately, not all adoptees are adopted into good families. Some are left wondering if they would be better off with their biological family. 

I’m extremely fortunate to have never experienced any of this. 

I was adopted through a reputable adoption agency, and — as far as I’m aware — my biological parents were young and gave me up for adoption because they knew they wouldn’t be able to take care of me properly. According to the documents I have, they lived on a farm in a rural part of South Korea. 

I don’t know if this is actually true since there have been reports of adoptee’s documents being doctored in the late 20th century. But I choose to believe this doesn’t pertain to me since I was adopted in the early 21st century. 

Even if my documents were changed, personally, it wouldn’t affect me much.

My “Airport Day” was and still is a celebrated day in my family. It’s almost like a second birthday. Family and friends call to wish me a happy “Airport Day,” I get cards and sometimes even gifts in the mail. 

Now that I’m older, I count my blessings and see how privileged I am to have been adopted into a family that loves me and has given me so much in life. I’m happy, healthy and thriving in the United States. 

I don’t think I would enjoy the quality of my life as much if I was living on that farm. I’ll admit: I’m pampered here. 

Of course, I understand every adoptee has a different experience. There are plenty of other adoptees that might not relate to how I feel, but through my experiences and life, I don’t think my personal feelings will ever change.