Editorial: The forgotten “please” and “thank you”

Editing syntax, fixing grammar and offering advice — tutors and friends take time out of their days to lend a hand, yet they’re often met with a lack of gratitude. 

While most people don’t peer-edit or help others for a pat on the back, saying “thank you” is a simple courtesy that should be extended.

This lack of manners goes beyond editing papers. People rarely start conversations with “Hello, how are you?” anymore. Instead, they jump straight to their request and wait for a result.

Basic etiquette has been stripped from everyday interactions — from asking for help with homework to holding the door for the person behind you. It can seem as though we’re living in a purely transactional world — one defined by give and take, with little humanity in between.

Since COVID, however, it feels like there’s been a noticeable decline in common decency. 

Though the fear of spreading germs has faded, many of us still keep conversations short and avoid small talk and kindness.

A Pew Research Center survey found 47% of Americans believe people are ruder than before the pandemic. Reported behaviors included smoking near others, taking photos or videos without permission and talking to people while wearing earbuds — all signs of a decline in common courtesy. 

These behaviors existed before, but their frequency surged in recent years. After a time when we were so focused on protecting loved ones and showing care for one another, it’s surprising that empathy and politeness didn’t strengthen once the world reopened.

As our close relationships shifted online, many adopted a mindset of listening only to what serves their own agenda. 

Perhaps this reflects a larger cultural issue. In a world where the media is dominated by polarization, people are pushed to take sides. The pressure to “pick a team” weakens our patience for listening to opposing ideas. 

In face-to-face conversations, people rarely walk away mid-sentence just because they disagree. Instead, they wait for a pause or a change of topic before ending the exchange. 

But that courtesy doesn’t always extend to digital spaces, where there’s no pressure to hear someone out from behind a screen. It’s easy to scroll, dislike and move on from a post you don’t wish to interact with. 

Unfortunately, that same mentality is seeping into real life. When a topic no longer serves someone’s interest, they disengage entirely, as if ending a conversation were as simple as closing an app.

This could stem from the social distance of the pandemic: awkward interactions, no handshakes or hugs and months of hiding smiles behind masks. The physical separation fostered an emotional distance that has proven hard to close. 

But in-person interaction gives us every reason to reconnect through kindness. 

Ask friends how their day is going. Show interest in what they care about. Thank them for the time they spend listening to you. That’s how friendships are built and maintained. 

Many of us are busy rushing from class to meetings to dinner plans that we forget to slow down and check in with the people around us. It only takes a few moments to show someone you value their presence.

Good manners have a butterfly effect. When you pick up someone’s dropped book or offer a smile, you make their day a little better, and they may pay it forward.

Digital manners matter, too. Adding a “just kidding!” to clarify a text or ending an email with a polite, “Hope you’re well” can soften tone and show respect. Whether in person or online, etiquette boils down to the same thing: considering how your words and actions impact others. 

Even in academic and professional settings, respect has disappeared. Underclassmen interrupt upperclassmen without regard for experience, and some employees fail to acknowledge mentors who offer guidance.

In the workplace, something as small as a thank-you note after an interview can set a candidate apart. It takes minutes to write but leaves a lasting impression. 

At its core, the issue is simple: when others take time out of their day for you, the least you can do is thank them. Neglecting to do so makes people feel undervalued and less inclined to help again.

Manners may feel old-fashioned, but they’re the foundation of human connection. A small gesture of gratitude can go a long way.