Julia Blauner
Squeezed into the small desks of our first-semester English class, we listened as my professor tried to incorporate Greek life into our discussion. “Does anyone know what a GDI is?” she asked.
The word was unfamiliar to me. I lifted my head up from my desk and my curiosity peaked.
“It means god-damn independent. That’s what we call someone at Lehigh when they’re not in a sorority,” she said.
I laughed a little, as it was funny to me at the time. Now, not so much.
I chose to go to Lehigh for many reasons. From its academics to its manageable size, its proximity to home and, just as important, its strong Greek life. Being involved in the Greek system was just as important to me as anything else the school has to offer.
Like a lot of first-years, I was trying to figure out how to balance my workload, as well as make friends. Eventually, I figured it out and found an amazing group of friends that I am so grateful for.
Then came rush.
The week had crept up on me and I was nervous to begin the process that everyone had been thinking about since the first day of school.
In the end, I came out a “GDI” and I was devastated.
It felt like I was going through the stages of mourning a death. The death of my “picture-perfect Lehigh experience.”
I hated talking about it. People didn’t know what to say to me, and I couldn’t find the words to respond. I wanted to shut out the world to escape from the pain of seeing my friends enjoying time with their sororities.
If I’m being perfectly honest with myself, I was jealous. I wished every day I could be doing the things my friends were complaining of having to do: the chapter meetings, rituals and dinners.
I had a hard time believing the Greek system had passed me by. Constantly having to tell people, “I’m not in a sorority,” was the most heart-wrenching part.
I vividly recall sitting in my friend’s room last year as girls on the floor were getting ready for their sorority’s date party. A friend-of-a-friend who I was only acquainted with walked in and asked me when my sorority’s date party was being held.
It was a perfectly innocent question that I did not have an answer for, so I just sat there stuttering, frozen not able to come to terms with it.
Time does heal, and as the end of my first-year approached, the anger, denial and sadness lessened. My close friends remained close and they were the ones who really helped me get through it.
Still, I was excited to go home for the summer, spend time with my high school friends, and get away from the Greek scene for a few months. Of course, I didn’t realize that I would still feel the repercussions even miles away from Lehigh.
At the farmer’s market in my small town, where everyone knows everyone, a woman approached me and my mom and asked me where I went to school. After I responded Lehigh, I knew which question was coming next.
“Are you in a sorority?”
No matter how many times I’m asked this question, I’m still shocked at how upset I get at the answer. I wanted so badly to say yes, and for it to be true, but of course, I sighed and said, “No I’m not.”
Possibly reading the expression on my face, she asked, “But is Lehigh a big Greek life school?”
“Yes, it is,” I said, and she didn’t know what to say next. Suddenly I was back in early February, feeling the same raw emotions welling up inside of me I thought I had overcome.
I can’t even count the number of times people have asked me if I am in a sorority. No one ever inquires about my major, or what clubs or programs I am involved in, or what classes I am taking. Those are the things I wish they would ask.
It seems like people only want to hear about sororities, which I unfortunately can’t tell them about.
Instead, I decided to focus on all the other great things that are happening at Lehigh. Just as importantly, I remain close to my first-semester friends who refused to abandon me just because I didn’t get into a sorority. There is life outside Greek life at Lehigh, you just have to dig a little deeper to find it.
Of course the letters GDI still make me wince, and I don’t enjoy running into random people who ask me where I go to school, because I always know the follow-up question. Still, I love my life at Lehigh. Once the cloud of sorority life lifted, I could clearly see all the elements that make the school incredible.
—
Julia Blauner, ’21, is an assistant sports editor for The Brown and White. She can be reached at [email protected].
Comment policy
Comments posted to The Brown and White website are reviewed by a moderator before being approved. Incendiary speech or harassing language, including comments targeted at individuals, may be deemed unacceptable and not published. Spam and other soliciting will also be declined.
The Brown and White also reserves the right to not publish entirely anonymous comments.
6 Comments
Just transfer out. It seems OK now but the school is just too small for you to find much going on outside of Greek life.
As a senior who also identifies as a “GDI”, this just isn’t true.
I agree. I graduated from Lehigh in 2016 and in retrospect I ended up thankful I was not involved in Greek life. There are many other options and you can certainly make the most of those.
I stand by what I said. I had friends and extracurriculars and a nice house off-campus, but by the time I was five years out, it was clear that I had had very little to take away with me other than a diploma and a (wonderful) best friend who was equally underwhelmed. Most of the GDIs were staying for specific reasons–a relationship or a scholarship or the fact that Lehigh was, at the time, a Tier 1 school, or not being able to easily transfer. I think we all felt like a fringe community and that no matter what Greek life was in our face at all times. There was very little else to do on campus or within a reasonable radius.
Are there no other opportunities for group living, on the equivalent of greek life, for undergraduates? This was possible at one time.
Anyone’s Lehigh experience is what one makes of it. Enjoy it and make the best of the those years.
When I was there, the non-Greek group living options were pretty much Taylor Residential College (does that still exist?), Substance-Free Living (rather extreme), and Umoja.
I accept that the school was never a good fit for me but the school really could try to have something to offer students to whom Lehigh’s Greek life isn’t appealing (like me back then) or who didn’t get into the frat/sorority where they were hoping to pledge. Boasting that the school is 90 miles from NYC and Philly isn’t enough, even if I took advantage of being able to escape to both cities and my family an awful lot by the end, as did a decent number of people I know.