Once again, the Lehigh Marriage Pact — a compatibility questionnaire students can fill out to be paired with potential future spouses — has made its yearly appearance on campus.
Yes, the survey is designed to be lighthearted, and many students treat it as just a joke or social experiment. But for some, it touches on deeper questions about their love life for the future, and it got us thinking about the realities of love in college. After all, more than 2,000 students participated this year.
College is a period of profound growth for young adults, as we balance academic challenges, new friendships and discovering more about themselves.
Amid all the lectures, late-night study sessions and career-building, college can also be a time when you’re getting closer to a special someone.
College is often seen as the bridge between adolescence and adulthood, making it a strange and ambiguous gray area where every student is at a different point in their development. Some may be searching for a partner for life, and others may be just beginning to explore relationships.
But for many, the question of romance looms large — sometimes unexpectedly so — and brings with it a whole set of decisions.
Am I going to marry the person I’m dating? Should I prioritize love while I’m here, or should I focus on my own growth first? Am I missing out by staying single? Is this a relationship or a college fling?
The dilemma of prioritizing another person while still trying to find yourself is at the heart of many college relationships. And in many ways, we think finding love in college can be a risk.
The question to answer is whether or not it’s a risk worth taking.
After all, it’s not uncommon to hear stories of alumni who met their spouses in college and sigh, wishing that it could’ve been you too.
But its just as common to hear stories from adults who are now married or in a long-term relationship with someone they met later on about failed college relationships.
It’s a lot to take in.
Some students take the plunge, choosing to let love guide their decisions after college. Others choose a path of individual growth, focusing more on career ambitions.
But the truth is, there’s no easy answer to this question, nor is there one right answer.
It’s not just about whether the relationship will last, but whether it will complicate an already uncertain future.
After college, both partners will likely experience significant changes: new jobs, new cities and even new responsibilities.
Thus, staying together often requires some sort of sacrifice.
One person might need to move for work, while the other stays behind. Or one might alter career plans to stick by their partners side. Or perhaps both partners will struggle with the stress of finding their place in the world, leaving little room for romance.
Choosing to abstain from all of this by remaining single is also always an option, and it has its benefits in individual growth and self-discovery. But this, too, can be a risk as you may miss out on a special type of connection.
So is it a risk to fall in love in college? Yes. But like many risks, it’s one that can be rewarding, if approached with clear eyes and mutual understanding.
Even though this editorial board isn’t made up of relationship experts, we are experts in the experiences we’ve each had in our lives.
We understand a key piece of advice in relationships during college is to never lose yourself for the sake of love, but also to not close yourself off from it.
How conflicting.
Love in college, like everything else, is part of the self-discovery process.
It teaches you what you want in a partner, if you want a partner at all, how to navigate complex emotions and how to balance your ambitions with your relationship.
Whether the person you’re dating now becomes your long-term partner or not, the experience of navigating love during these formative years can help shape the kind of person you want to be both in relationships and in life.
In the end, the risk of love could be one worth taking, even if it doesn’t come with guarantees.
2 Comments
I graduated in 1985. I have many friends who found life partners at Lehigh, and my medium sample size has a 100% success rate for those who just got married after college. One thing to consider is you will not likely encounter such a presorted group of people. Everyone at Lehigh is bright and accomplished. At a minimum, it is a great place to find lifelong friends. I will drop by in November with several older people who have similarly sorted more than 40 years ago. Please now go out and make some questionable decisions. All the best, you are soon to be minted superstars.
Just yesterday I celebrated 32 years of marriage to the “risk” I met during my days as a Lehigh student. Like Pete, I have a number of friends who met their partners at Lehigh and all of them are still together.
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