The Sunday Reset: You’re allowed to change your mind

At some point, it feels like everyone starts asking you, “What do you want to do with your life?” 

What’s your major? What job do you want after graduation? Where do you see yourself in five years?

I think a lot of us spend so much time trying to find the right answers that we forget we’re still figuring that out for ourselves. We’re expected to know what we want out of our careers, our relationships and our futures, all while we’re still learning who we are. 

When I was 18 years old, I thought I had a clear picture of what my life would look like at 21. I imagined I’d have a better understanding of what I wanted, feel confident in the direction I was heading and be excited about what was ahead.

Now at 21, I realize that growing up isn’t necessarily about having everything figured out. It’s about learning more about yourself, becoming more comfortable with your decisions and understanding that your idea of the future can change as you do.

Before finding journalism, I was an economics major, trying to figure out what felt right for me. 

Looking back, every change brought me one step closer to finding something I truly love. Although it was frustrating at times, I eventually found something I genuinely enjoy: writing, learning about people and telling stories.

Looking back, I realize I didn’t need to have everything figured out from the beginning to find something that felt right.

I think many forget we can learn something about ourselves and still change our minds. We can discover new interests, develop different priorities and realize that the things we once thought were important don’t always matter in the same way later on.

That applies to more than choosing a major or a career. It applies to the kind of life we want, the relationships we hope to have and the person we want to become.

Sometimes, we make plans based on the person we are at 18, without realizing how much we still have to learn about ourselves.

It’s hard not to compare yourself to other people, especially in college. It seems like someone always has an internship lined up, a clear career path or a better idea of what comes next. 

I see the milestones other people are reaching and wonder whether I’m moving fast enough. 

Lately, I’ve been trying to remind myself that I don’t have to measure my life against the expectations I had a few years ago. I can want different things now. I can be proud of the person I was at 18 without expecting myself to still want everything I once wanted.

As another Sunday comes around, I think it’s worth giving ourselves a little room to breathe. We spend so much time planning what comes next that we don’t always stop to look at the progress we have made.

Sometimes, we need to permit ourselves to pause, rethink things and accept that the answer we had a few years ago might not be the answer we have today.

When I think about the person I was at 18, I don’t wish she had everything figured out. I wish she had known that she didn’t need to have a perfect plan to be moving in the right direction.

Maybe that’s something we all need to hear a little more often. 

We don’t have to become the person we imagined being at a certain age. We’re allowed to discover that sometimes happiness looks different than what we expected, that our dreams can change and that there isn’t one “right way” to build a life.

You don’t have to have it all figured out by 21. You don’t even have to have it figured out by 25.

You’re allowed to change your mind, take your time and give yourself the same patience you’d give someone else. 

You’re still becoming the person you’re meant to be, and there’s nothing wrong with that.